Dear Editor: Did you know that men and boys are at greater risk of death at EVERY stage of life as compared to women and girls? This is largely due to the pressure on men and boys to conform to unrealistic standards of what it means to “be a man.” From the day they are born, those who are biologically male are told and shown how they should navigate life.
Unfortunately, many of these messages, which come from everywhere (e.g., media, family, friends), are unhealthy. They say that boys should be dominant, have control over others, should be the best at everything, shouldn’t ever be weak or cry, should only like girls. The expectation to uphold these unrealistic standards limits boys from truly expressing their full humanity.
Why does this matter? Research shows that these unrealistic standards about manhood can have harmful consequences for those who subscribe to them, as well as those they interact with. For instance, a man who internalizes these expectations around manhood is more likely to be depressed, commit suicide, commit acts of violence against others, (e.g., sexual, domestic, bullying), and partake in risk-taking behaviors. Then, as boys grow into men who subscribe to these unhealthy standards, they begin to show and tell the next generations that this is what it means to be a “real man.” This creates a cycle of future generations of boys and men who are at higher risk for unhealthy behaviors (e.g., violence, substance use issues).
The Pathways Coalition, a group of individuals and community partners dedicated to building a healthy, respectful community, has recently launched the What It Means To Be a Káa (Man) campaign. It spotlights previous Boys Run I toowú klatseen (BRITK) coaches that are positive male mentors who role-model alternative, more holistic ways of being a man. The BRITK program, meant for third through fifth grade boys, teaches participants that being a “strong” man means having strength of spirit (I toowú klatseen) and being a respectful human being. The campaign messages, which you will find here in the newspaper, on social media, in coffee shops, and at restaurants, work to counter the harmful ones that boys are getting about masculinity. It gives them a different narrative about how they can show up in the world as boys, and eventually men.
Thank you to the local businesses currently supporting this campaign. You can find our messages at the Mean Queen, Backdoor Café, Beak Restaurant, and Fisheye coffee. To learn more about the campaign, visit sitkapathways.org/male-allies. To hear more about the expectations, pressures, and messages – spoken or unspoken – that shape how people of all genders experience masculinity, attend the next Sitka Tells Tales event, “Boys will be boys? Stories of Challenging the Scripts That Shape Us,” on Tuesday, Dec. 16, at Harbor Mountain Brewing Co. from 7-8 p.m.
Pathways Male
Engagement Workgroup
Phil Burdick
Amanda Capitummino
Lee House
Michelle Kavouras
Barbara Quinn
Julia Smith
