By KLAS STOLPE
Sentinel Staff Writer
“I nearly took my life.”
That’s what Eric Alvarado, 16, said to Sitka School Board members Monday night in testimony at their budget workshop.
While many Sitkans have been advocating for education, many may not have realized how much that advocacy means to Eric and his peers.
In his comments to the School Board, Eric advocated for other kids who, like himself, are part of REACH’s dual-enrolled programs, or as homeschool coordinator Colleen Carroll said, “programs that fit their personal learning style.”
He advocated for Pacific High’s “40 lifelines” as principal Mandy Summer calls the home school support program in which students have found a place where they can excel.
“Throughout my ninth grade I went to this lovely school,” Eric began, referring to Sitka High, where the meeting was being held.
“But it wasn’t very easy....” he said.
Pacific High School student Eric Alvarado. (Sentinel Photo by Klas Stolpe)
He attended Sitka High for a year and two weeks.
He struggled through his freshman year, but “I started losing hope,” he said.
“My anxieties were so bad that I went through that entire year not eating lunch, I couldn’t handle it,” he said. He was two weeks into his sophomore year at Sitka High when he caught the break that turned his life around.
“The point I want to bring up here is that Pacific High was a second chance for me,” he said. Born and raised in Sitka, Eric attended Keet Gooshi Heen and Blatchley, but with less and less enjoyment in his classes.
“I think through Blatchley I was barely able to deal with it,” he said. “Grab my lunch, sit down with friends, and move on.”
Elementary through fifth grade had been doable.
“I think it was when I hit Blatchley,” he said. “Sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade…”
That was when the school work began to weigh heavily.
“Teachers really expecting a lot out of you,” he said. “A lot of the teachers I had were amazing, but it was mostly the school work.
“That was when my anxiety and a lot of the depression I had started really hitting me,” he said.
“I think what changed at Sitka High was you had the choice to go out and eat lunch and not many of your friends stayed here for lunch, I think that changed my comfort zone, not having somebody there with you.”
“But when tenth grade hit, I was just in the middle of class and I was realizing… I was realizing I was not getting the help that I truly needed,” he said. “I just sat there and I thought that this isn’t the place for me.”
“I had lost a lot of hope right there,” he said.
And so, he continued, in the middle of that class he asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. He texted his mom and said he couldn’t handle it anymore.
“I told her I was losing hope in this school,” he said. He didn’t tell her about his darker thoughts.
What about Pacific High, his mother said. And he took hold of that lifeline.
“It was the second chance,” he said. “It was the answer to my prayer, it was hope.”
He said his first day was a miracle.
“In Sitka High your first day of class was with a lot of students,” he said. “The difference between Sitka and Pacific High was that I was not left out, I was not left alone. At Pacific you are brought together. I love the teachers at Sitka High, but it just wasn’t for me.”
Eric is now nearly through his first year at Pacific.
The reason he came to speak, he said, was because of what he was hearing and not hearing. What the budget cuts were, what cuts or consolidation could mean to Pacific or to programs like REACH or the size of classrooms… but more importantly what other kids like him might be going through as they wait to see if there will be a classroom left for them.
“I’m sort of in fear that this hasn’t been decided or if it will stay,” he said. “I think one of my fears is, you look at this world and a big thing in order to survive you have to have money, and money has consumed a lot of people. Hearing these people speak I believe they really believe in the students. It seems like they are focusing on the students, and they mention the budget they are struggling with… I just try to have faith that they think about us when they make these decisions.”
Eric said he has always been a person who speaks honestly and from the heart.
He paused and looked at the floor for a moment.
“When you think of it,” he began, “I mostly came here to speak, not just for me, but for the future people who might go through my struggles… and some of the struggles in this world are so tough… depression, anxiety… and for my fellow peers who might not have had the courage to come here today, I spoke for them.”
