By SHANNON HAUGLAND
Sentinel Staff Writer
Does your child seem distracted at dinner because he or she wants to respond to something on Instagram?
Or tell you about an inappropriate or obscene photo that appeared on Snapchat?
Are you concerned that your kids’ activity on social media is affecting their mental health? And what if you have no idea what Snapchat, TikTok or Instagram are?
Help and advice on all of these topics will available Friday in a free program called “Parenting in the Digital Age,” presented by Homer Police Lt. Ryan Browning at 6 p.m. in the Shee’ka Kwaan Naa Kahidi.
Parents, teens and other community members are invited to join a candid conversation about the internet, including social media, what kids are seeing online and how parents can help them navigate safely online.
Sitka parent Mary Suminski organized the event after she learned about Browning and the series of presentations he has given in Homer, North Pole, Kenai, Nikiski, Anchor Point, Fairbanks and Soldotna.
“There’s never been a time where being in high school or middle school has been awesome, but I think it’s gotten increasingly difficult,” Suminski said. “I think kids have a harder time separating themselves from anything that’s negative that happens at school. They can’t just leave it at school anymore; it comes home with them in a very intimate way, on their phones.”
Posts on the Homer Police Department Facebook page talk about the mental health and wellbeing of young people, and how they may be affected by interactions on social media and elsewhere on the Internet.
Browning says teen suicide attempts in Alaska have nearly doubled in 12 years, and research indicates that teen girls are becoming disengaged from normal activities, and 60 percent of students have reported being bullied through social media or on digital devices.
Browning, 43, was born and raised in Homer and has worked in law enforcement, including the Alaska State Troopers and the Homer Police Department, since age 21. He enjoys aspects of his job and volunteering in a way that help and empower people, he said. That has included teaching self-defense for women, and in the last couple of months talking to parents and teens about social media – “what social media and the Internet are doing to kids, and more importantly kids telling us what it’s doing to themselves, and trying to get parents to have hard conversations with the kids,” Browning told the Sentinel.
Browning has two teenage kids, ages 16 and 18. He said he has no special training in social work or psychology, beyond his police training, but is good at “connecting the dots.” He has learned a lot first-hand in talking to kids about social media and mental health.
“It’s the constant comparison between what we think we should be and what we are, or what we shouldn’t be,” he said. “For girls, it’s ‘I’m too fat, too skinny, my hair’s not pretty enough, my boobs are too small, my butt’s too flat.’ For boys it’s ‘I need more money, I’m not talented, I’m not a rapper, I don’t have this or that.’ Because their lives are a constant comparison.”
He added that many teens are aware that spending time on the Internet makes them feel worse about themselves, and know that it leads to unhealthy or unsafe behaviors, such as posing in more risqué ways to get more “likes” and “follows” on social media.
“Kids nowadays say they want to be an Instagram influencer,” Browning said. “On top of that OnlyFans are blowing through the roof,” he said.
OnlyFans is an online platform and app in which people can pay for content – photos, videos and live streams – with a monthly membership.
As an officer, Browning has worked to help kids who were bullied online to the point of wanting to kill themselves, and he hears kids’ and parents’ stories about unhealthy interactions via social media. Health care workers tell him similar stories from the ER, about kids wanting or trying to harm themselves.
“Who’s talking about it? No one,” Browning said.
He cited the state youth risk behavior survey from 2019 showing 50 percent of the girls surveyed said they are depressed, and out of that pool, 50 percent said they stopped doing things they enjoyed for two weeks or more.
“One out of three seriously considered suicide; one in four had an actual plan to kill themselves.” Browning said. “This should be frickin’ headline news everywhere and it’s not. And parents need to know what this stuff is doing to our kids.”
His main message to parents and his main goal with the presentations is to say to parents: “Be a parent, get involved, talk to your kids, unplug them from this (virtual) world once in a while and here’s why.”
Browning said those coming to the talk should expect it to be frank about what kids have access to, and what is available to them through social media and elsewhere on the Internet.
He hopes the talks will lead to more open and honest conversations between Sitka parents and kids, and more sensible use of devices.
“Not everything needs to get shared,” he said. “Protect your privacy, protect your reputation, don’t be that guy: you don’t have to make a crappy comment about everything you see. Everything online is permanent and nothing is private. You can teach your kids those values when they’re young. Stay in communication, have those conversations and ask them questions. I think that’s the best parents can do, right?”
Browning compared teaching kids about proper smartphone use to teaching them how to drive a car.
“We spend all this time teaching them to drive a car, we make them get a permit, take a test, learn road skills – we have to do the same when it comes to digital devices or social media,” he said. “And then if we can do that, and teach them how to drive it and operate safely and responsibly, then we don’t have to have conversations like this.”
Suminski, who has two teenage girls, said what Browning says about social media resonates with her.
“I’ve definitely seen times where their behavior was different – something on the phone had changed their attitude, or their mood,” she said. “It made me realize that this is happening. Kids are being bombarded, and exposed to all sorts of things and they can’t really get away from it.”
Suminski started noticing how often her children and their friends were on the phone, how often they checked the phone, and “this sense of panic” to check who had gotten a message when a notification would come through.
“It made me realize that there’s a lot of parents like myself that want to help, and how to navigate this next intersection of our lives with our kids,” she said.
Like Browning, Suminski hopes learning new skills will lead to more open conversations between children and adults, and healthier and more responsible habits on social media.
Browning will have handouts, including a list of conversation starters for parents, and information about a statewide helpline, by calling or texting 988.
Suminski said donations to the cost of bringing Browning here have been made by Sitka Elks Lodge, AC Lakeside, First Bank, Aspen Hotel, Harry Race Pharmacy, Mean Queen, Sitka Rotary, Sweet Sisters Caramels and anonymous donors.
